"Father Figures give boys and girls their identity or blueprint"
The greatest challenge for men and women today, especially the ones who had no father figure in the home, is that they suffer from an Identity Crisis. They lack the nurturing influence of a true father to give them identity.
An Identity doesn't come from a celebrity, a gang, books or the government. It comes from a father figure. Both parents have an important role in on their sons and daughters Identity but ultimately the only parent who can affirm to give a complete blue print or a true identity is a father.
This fundamental principle is lacking in many of our cultures, and its absence is the source of many social problems. It has been my experience and observation that the boy has been forgotten through the ages. Most young men are really running around looking for a father that they can't find.
Some, in the mist of confusion, seek companionship from another male looking for that love that they never got from their father but are desperately holding on to the wrong kind of love from another male, turning them into something that they’re not.
A man needs to be affirmed by a father in order to confirm his manhood. This is why so many young men yearn to hear their father say to them, "I love you, son. You are a man now." My heart bleeds watching men including myself while growing up, starving for a father's guidance or father’s love.
Boys will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father’s approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviours that they recognise as both successful and familiar. Therefore, if a father is abusive, controlling, and dominating, those will be the patterns that their sons will imitate and emulate. However, if a father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, boys will want to replicate those patterns and emotions.
"Fathers' Nation is dedicated to my father Jorge Rodrigues (R.I.P. 1944-2006) and all those that never got the love & identity from their fathers but also to the strong mothers of this world".
by: Nelson Rodrigues