Dedicated to my father Jorge Rodrigues (R.I.P. 1944-2006) and all those that never discovered the love & identity from their fathers but also to the strong mothers of this world".
About Me - my Journey
My name is Nelson Rodrigues and I'm the founder of PersonalDev4Men. Throughout my adverse and troublesome upbringing, filled with hopelessness and a ghost father figure, I overcame the typical stereotyped life path that was designed for me, breaking through all odds and getting into university and into full time employment to now being in a empowered position as a father figure and a role model to my children and loved ones, finding my life purpose to the good of the community, qualifying and trained as a psychotherapist, being closer to God and continuing to grow mentally strong to raise the awareness of lack of role models and identity crisis that affects all of us.
One of the greatest challenge for men and women today, especially the ones who had no father figure or role model in the home, is that they will most likely suffer from an Identity Crisis at some point in their life, lacking the nurturing influence of a male role model.
What is identity crisis? - "A period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person's sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society."
The original source of Identity doesn't come from a celebrity, a gang, books or the government, it comes from parents as both parents have an important role in on their sons and daughters Identity, thus reducing the risk of having mental health and behaviour problems such as depression and anxiety just to mention a couple.
This fundamental principle is lacking in many of our cultures, and its absence is the source of many social problems. It has been my experience and observation that the boy has been forgotten through the ages. Most young men are really running around looking for a father that they can't find.
Some, in the mist of confusion, seek companionship from another male looking for that love that they never got from their father but are desperately holding on to the wrong kind of love from another male, turning them into something that they’re not.
A man needs to be affirmed by a father in order to confirm his manhood. This is why so many young men yearn to hear their father say to them, "I love you, son. You are a man now." My heart bleeds watching men which included myself while growing up, starving for a father's guidance or father’s love.
Boys will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father’s approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviours that they recognise as both successful and familiar. Therefore, if a father is abusive, controlling, and dominating, those will be the patterns that their sons will imitate and emulate. However, if a father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, boys will want to replicate those patterns and emotions.
Men, Media & Society
Overwhelmingly, the portrayal of men and male identity in contemporary western societies is mostly negative. Men today are extensively demonised, marginalised and objectified, in a way reminiscent of the portrayal of women throughout much of history.
Continuous negative depiction of men in the media, along with the feminisation of men and loss of fatherhood in society, has caused confusion and frustration in our younger generation of both males and females, as they do not have specific male role models and are less able to define their own role in society. This makes them more likely to suffer from mental illnesses that can be directly related back to this lack of a father figure. (Reference: Psychology Today)
Advertisers now portray men the way they portrayed women in the 1950s: as either dumb or pretty
“Modern men: brainless, buffed bimbos, they can’t put up a shelf to save their lives, they’re too thick to even do the laundry or look after the kids, but – oi, oi! – they don’t half look good in budgie-smugglers! Come on, boys, get yer pecs out for the girls!”
This repellent mindset might sound like the bastard child of a 1990s hen party from hell, but this is exactly how contemporary consumer “Hunkvertising” depicts men – and, tragically, some us are even starting to believe it.